Friday, April 25, 2008

Generation Boomer

The Bejing Times World Edition, dateline: January 15, 3050
© Fox News

People’s Republic archeologists digging through the ruins of Old Los Angeles unearthed a previously unseen script for a United Consumer States television show that was apparently never produced. While the manuscript is undated, the naïve themes of free will, personal initiative and democratic rights for all sentient beings expressed would seem to place it in the latter half of the 20th century. Due to server-space limitations as a result of publication of the latest 9 Month Economic Restructuring Plan, we can offer our viewers only one page of the manuscript. We think you will find it quaint and amusing.

Generation Boomer

A tele-play in 4 acts.

Episode 1, Act 1, Scene 1

[T.V. science fiction show theme music begins]

Voice over: “Retirement, the final frontier. These are the voyages of Generation Boomer – whose continuing mission is to seek out new thrills, spills and chills. To boldly go where no generation has gone before! Warp speed!”

[sound of grinding gears, power down, etc]

Helmsman: [Russian accent] “The ship is not responding Captain!”

Captain: [arrogant accent] “Engineering – what’s the matter?”

Engineering: [Scottish accent] “We’ve run out of power!”

Captain: “First Officer – analysis!”

First Officer: [detached accent] “It appears that Generation Boomer is broke, Captain. In all the years of seeking new thrills, spills and chills, we forgot to save anything. In fact, we’re going to crash on that dim looking planet over there.”

Captain: “You mean Planet Poorhouse?”

First Officer: “Yes, I’m afraid so.”

Captain: “What can we do? There must be SOMEthing?”

First Officer: “Hmmm, well yes, there is one thing. Do you recall the films we saw in grade school when we were all afraid of The Bomb?”

Captain: “Well, yes, but what does that…?”

First Officer: “Do you remember what you were to do in the event of an attack? Crawl under your desk, bend over and kiss your …”

Captain: “N-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!!”

[cut to first commercial]

It’s never too late to do something about it!


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